Free From Fear

InHinds Feet for High PlacesHannah Hurnard tells the story of Much Afraid and her desperate attempt to be free from fear. She belongs to the Family of Fearings and istormented by her cousin Craven Fear who bullies Much Afraid and tells her she will never be anything more than a limping, dwarfed, good-for-nothing loserwho will never be free from fear.

In the story, every timeMuch Afraidstarts to make progress towards the High Places where the Good Shepherd is, Craven Fear shows up andattempts to browbeatMuch Afraidinto going back to the Valley of Humiliation where the rest of the Fearing Family lives.

For awhile, Much Afraid cowers in Craven Fear’s presence until she realizes that every single time she cries out for the Good Shepherd He shows up and Craven Fear flees.

Much Afraid soon learns that although the Good Shepherd will be with her at all times, she alone must choose to face the pain required to get to the High Places. The following excerpt fromHinds Feet for High Placesexplains the pain process well:

“She bent forward to look, then gave a startled little cry and drew back. There was indeed a seed lying in the palm of his hand, but it was shaped exactly like a long, sharply-pointed thorn… ‘The seed looks very sharp,’ she said shrinkingly. ’Won’t it hurt if you put it into my heart?’

He [The Shepherd] answered gently, ‘It is so sharp that it slips in very quickly. But, Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that love and pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know love, you must know pain too.’

Much-Afraid looked at the thorn and shrank from it. Then she looked at the Shepherd’s face and repeated His words to herself. ’When the seed of Love in your heart is ready to bloom, you will be loved in return,’ and a strange new courage entered her. She suddenly stepped forward, bared her heart, and said, ‘Please plant the seed here in my heart.’

His face lit up with a glad smile and he said with a note of joy in his voice, ‘Now you will be able to go with me to the High Places and be a citizen in the Kingdom of my Father.’

Then he pressed the thorn into her heart. It was true, just as he had said, it did cause a piercing pain, but it slipped in quickly and then, suddenly, sweetness she had never felt or imagined before tingled through her. It was bittersweet, but the sweetness was the stronger. She thought of the Shepherd’s words, ‘It is so happy to love,’ and her pale, sallow cheeks suddenly glowed pink and her eyes shown. For a moment Much-Afraid did not look afraid at all.”

Hinds Feet for High Placeswas one of those books that was memorial stone in my personal Bethel. Much Afraid’s story was my story, and her family was my family. There was a Craven Fear in my life that crippled me so badly I didn’t think I would ever be free from fear.

I am all too familiar with fear’s tormentand fear’s crippling of the mind and emotions. I know what it is to run out of an airport because the fear of flying consumed meor to pass out from a panic attack while trying to visit a friend in the hospital.

For Much Afraid and for many of us, being willing to embrace the pain that puts us in the Valley of Humiliation is the first and greatest step towards freedom from fear, bitterness, anger, resentment, or jealousy.

Christ Jesus dwells in the High Places, and He desires us to be in the High Places with Him.But we cannot drag our human weights of resentment, hurt, etc. with us as we try to climb higher. Instead, we must choose to leave them behind.

I have discovered that the letting go of unhealthy feelings is a decision, an act of obedience. It is nothing more than a simple choice to obey God’s word on the matter.

Let me explain:

I used to think that I had to wait until Ifeltthe freedom from the pain of rejection in my life. I would pray often for God to help mefeelbetter about the lifetime of bullying I had endured from the Craven Fear in my life.

• To be free from theFEELINGof deep hurt and rejection.
• To be free from theFEELINGof sheer panic every time I knew there was going to be an encounter with my Craven Fear.
• To be free from theFEELINGof shame that I wore as some sort of twisted security blanket.

Then I realized that no matter how hard I prayed, theFEELINGSwould rise up at the most unexpected moments and cause me to convulse like someone suddenly struck with food poisoning.

• A childhood memory would flash fresh across my consciousness.
• The benign rejection of a co-worker would strike a blow at the soul level.
• Anger over the most insignificant of issues would threaten my peace.

“How can I get rid of theseFEELINGS?” I cried to God.

And then, as is so often the case, the Gentle Shepherd came to me in His still small voice:

“The High Places are not attained through feelings, but through decisions.”

• ADECISION, to honor the Craven Fear in my life because God’s word says to. (Exodus 20:12)
• ADECISIONnot to return shame for shame. (Matthew 5:39)
• ADECISIONto forget the offences done to me. To stop mulling them over. To not base a current relationship on past injustices. (I Corinthians 13)

Dr. James Hughes, a psychologist based out of Dallas, Texas confirms this:

Yourfeelingswill get you nowhere in life, but yourCHOICESwill get you everywhere. It is yourCHOICESthat have brought you to the place in life you are at this moment.

What feelings do you struggle with? How do you deal with them? Do you see the value in choosing to move forward – whether you feel like it or not?

Part of the Grief Recovery Program is to look inside at your feelings, “emotional energy” as the program calls it, and begin to apply the right tools to deal with those feelings