Brokenness

Brokenness. That place of abject humility before God and others, when we realize that we are dust. That everyone else really should be esteemed better than us (Philippians 2:3) and that there is none truly good but God. (Luke 18:19)>

There have been times in my life when I have tasted brokenness. But only tasted.

Brokenness for me came when my mind and spirit were racked with torment through debilitating depression.

And brokenness came for me when my son was serving in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Brokenness has come to me to at other times too. Especially during personal crisis.But all too often, I only taste brokenness, instead of abiding in brokenness. Because, all too often, I do not wrestle long enough in prayer.

Why?

Because, quite frankly, submitting to the process of a changed nature is excruciatingly painful.

Jacob, the famous Biblical deceiver, found out just how painful wrestling prayer can be; but he also discovered the sweetness of its succor.

“And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” (Genesis 32:24-30)

In the next chapter, Jacob meets Esau for the first time after many years of estrangement. It appears from the story that Jacob fully expected Esau to kill him for how he had deceived their father into stealing Esau’s birthright. He had sent his wives and livestock ahead of him in an attempt to appease Esau’s wrath. And then the time came for them to meet face to face.

Jacob: “I was hoping they [hiswives]would pave the way for my master to welcome me…”

Esau:“I have enough, my brother; keep that thou hast unto thyself.”

Jacob: “Please. If you find it in your heart to welcome me, accept these gifts. When I saw your face, it was the face of God smiling on me.”

What an impressive change brokenness brought in their relationship. There was humility. There was mutual appreciation. There was deep respect. There was the esteeming of one another. Jacob, who had at one point in his life had such a sense of entitlement that he stole Esau’s birthright, now ,at this juncture, refers to him as Master.

I wonder what transformations would be possible in our lives if we could live in a place of brokenness instead of just tasting itduringcrisis? And how would one approacha lifestyle of brokenness anyway?

There is famous book by Charles Sheldon called In His Steps that seems to provide an answer.

In the book, the characters are challenged to live and do all as they believed Christ would do regardless of the results their actions might cause themselves. And before long, they discover the task to be much more arduous than they bargained for.

“There was almost general consent over the fact that the application of the Christ spirit and practice to the everyday life was the serious thing. It required a knowledge of Him and an insight into His motives that most of them did not yet possess.” –In His Steps

So it is with us.

We like how we feel when we flow in the Holy Spirit. We like the joy that brokenness brings to our relationships. But the getting there… and the staying there is oftentimes too painful to our coddled flesh. Mine included!

Oh God, help us. Make us willing vessels to completely surrender our wills, our desires, our pride. Bring us to humility. Teach us to humble ourselves so that you don’t have to allow circumstances in our lives to teach us what we could not teach ourselves. In your high and holy name. Amen.