Gold Star Junkie

“Someone must have been really hard on you in your life,” my boss said in response to my tearful disposition. She was right. Someone had. And that, combined with my own natural personality bent, set me up to be what author Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project calls a Gold Star Junkie.

My Gold Star Junkie-ism was being threatened by Illinois State Surveyors combing through every nook and cranny of our hospice organization. Although I had passed the interviews and the file reviews with glistening gold stars, one of my processes was found lacking.

One…

I had gotten raves by the head surveyor on my organizational skills and preparedness. So much so, that she made a point to brag on me to my boss. Yet I was devastated by the one negative finding.

The survey is a normal and healthy process set in place by Medicare to help hospices who receive state funding to stay in compliance. But for me, the not-quite-perfect findings pulled a string on my Gold Star Junkie heart.

According to Rubin, Gold Star Junkies are hard-wired to receive credit for their hard work. They are high performers who will go way above and beyond… as long as they eventually receive a gold star for their efforts.

“I’ve done a lot to combat my craving for gold stars,” Rubin says. “I also try hard to give other people the gold stars they deserve. As my mother once told me, “Most people probably don’t get the appreciation they deserve.'”

Rubin’s work with The Happiness Project is noteworthy and has helped a lot of people. She talks about the latest self-help buzz word called mindfulness which ,in short, teaches people to think themselves happy. There is some merit to this process because we know that the Holy Bible instructs believers to think on whatever is good.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

But for me, being a Gold Star Junkie is not a good thing. It is a sign that there is too much of a desire in me to have the approval of another human being – instead of the approval of my Lord and Savior.

The Holy Bible speaks often about not seeking recognition.

“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:1-4)

I want to do well in all that I do. But I want to do it for the God’s glory – not mine. So that people say to themselves, ‘Wow, look at the Christ-follower. He must really be an incredible God for her to perform as well as she does .’

I wish I was at that point all of the time, but I am not. And, clearly, there is much work to still be done in my heart in regards to handling criticism. But for today, I am thankful that there is at least an awareness in me that all that I am… and all that I am not, is in the hands of a very merciful and very loving God.

Let’s Pray:

Lord Jesus, forgive us for the times that we want to be a Gold Star Junkie. Help us to seek your approval and get pleasure from pleasing you. We want to honor you and your kingdom in all that we do. Amen.