Indifferent Tolerance

I like to go to different places in the community to write on my laptop and observe. This week I was at a Culver’s enjoying a pot roast sandwich, and a diet root beer, when two grandmotherly types walked in with a little boy and girl who looked to be about 4 years old. What caught my attention wasn’t the hyper playfulness of the children, or the sternness of the women with the children, but the sense of indifferent tolerance that this grandmother and great grandmother seemed to have regarding their grandchildren.

Their annoyance was plain for all to see.

At one point, the manager came over to try to engage the children and, even then, these women who looked to be about 65 and 85, were aloof, detached, and disinterested.

The kids were bright eyed and giggly with each other, but very guarded and distant with the women. At one point, the little girl tried to hug the grandmother and climbed on her lap. The grandmother allowed her to sit on her lap, but there was absolutely no interplay between them.

There was tender affection and longing in the little girl’s eyes as she looked at her grandmother, but sadly it was returned with seeming disdain.

Naturally, there is a lot of supposition on my part in observing this multi-generational family. I have no clue really what the relationship is between them, or why on this particular day those two women seemed so indifferent and uncaring.

But I know all to well what it feels like to be tolerated and to have someone you love dearly completely disregard you.

It is absolutely the worst feeling in the world. And I promise you that even at 4-years-old these children are aware of it.

In the Grief Recovery Program, we talk a lot about dealing with the experiences from our less-than-loved-one. I won’t belabor the point, but let’s just say that the scene I just described to you was a normal existence in my childhood.

I don’t share this so you will pity me. But rather to challenge you to do your best to never, ever make another human being feel as if you are just tolerating them.

All human beings are living souls with an eternal destiny, and as such deserve kindness and respect regardless of who they are… or who they are not.

We do a grave disservice to our Lord and Savior and to His kingdom purposes when we pick and choose who we will bestow our attention and affection on, and who we will not.

So today, as you go about your daily tasks, love the people that God has placed in your corner of the world. Appreciate them. Value them. Affirm them. Take time with them. Let them know that you are thrilled that the God of all glory has chosen them to walk alongside you in your life’s journey.

Let go of the pride and irritation that wells up in you around some people. Instead, choose to treat them as you would want to be treated. And as the miraculous creation of God that they are.

Would our Lord and Savior expect any less from us?

“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye desire that men do unto you, so also do ye unto them.” (Matthew 7:12)

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples by the love you have one for another.” (John 13:35)