C.S. Lewis (one of my all time favorite authors) talks about having rats in the cellar of our inner self. This concept of digging deep into one’s heart and mind has been weighing heavily on me lately. Who am I really? What kind of Christian woman would I be if my cognitive skills were diminished and I was no longer able to filter my reactions through common sense and the Holy word?
My impassioned goal is to be so full of Jesus Christ and His holy word that even if I didn’t know my own name, I would be a sincere and loving Godly woman. I have dreams of being so saturated with scripture that if you were to just touch me, like one would touch a sponge, all that would come out with be Bible verses. Oh God, make it so in me one day!
Time is running out for me this morning, so I will leave you with this excerpt from C. S. Lewis’ book, Mere Christianity:
” We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that I was caught off guard, I had not time to collect myself…
On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. Surely, what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light.”