Try going through the day today without using the words me, myself, mine, and I. Don’t use me, myself, mine and Iin texts, emails, on the phone, or while at work or play. When asked your opinion on something, just simply say, “it’s your opinion that matters most today.” Even when offering someone your seat on the bus, or the place ahead of you in line, say something like, “this seat/spot in line looks like it was made for you.” Do all you can to deflect attention from yourself today.Make every effort today to sincerely elevate the people around you to a status higher than yourself.
Do this, or at least attempt to do this, and you will discover how excruciatingly painful this little exercise is.
We are by nature very selfish creatures bent on self-promotion and status. We want to be noticed. We want to be acknowledged. We want to be validated. Recognized. Made to feel of value.
We want. We feel. We desire. In our selfish little minds, it’s all about us.
Oh, we can be gracious and giving and sincerely thoughtful of other, but let our place in the world be threatened or overshadowed by another and, if we aren’t careful, pride and ego can swell within us.
The Apostle Paul recognized this:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man to his own things. But everyman to the things of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
Esteem others better than themselves…
Wow. That’s a tall order. If I esteem you more than myself, then I honestly believe that you deserve more attention, more recognition, more blessings, more gifting, than I do. And, if I sincerely believe that, then when you do better or accomplish more or receive more, I should be thrilled.
But am I?
And are you?
For me, it is a work in progress. I have learned much about the difference between having a healthy self-esteem and being full of jealousy, pride, and self-will. They really are very different in origin, intent, and purpose.
Self-esteem says: I understand who I am, and who God created me to be. Therefore, I recognize that my place in His kingdom is secure. I am free to excel and thrive and become a vessel of honor to the glory of God. The Master Creator formed me in my mother’s womb with aspecific purpose in mind. Therefore, I totally understand that my place in this world is uniquely my own given at the hands of a gracious and loving God.
Pride says: Although I understand who I am, and who God created me to be, I am threatened by who God created you to be. If you excel and thrive to the point that it outshines me, I am not happy with that. I can be gracious as long as you understand that I need to shine the most. You can do well, and I will be happy for you, as long as I don’t feel threatened. I understand that the Master Creator formed us both with a specific purpose in mind, but I am very uncomfortable if He should choose for you to have a greater place of influence in this world than I.
Let me share a real example to demonstrate what I mean:
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. To share with people the things that inspire me and speak to me. I have done many things to try to fulfill this God-given dream: taken journalism classes, gone to writer’s conferences, written for the local paper, magazines etc. But after all that effort, energy, and expenditure I still didn’t feel that I had discovered God’s true purpose for the passion of writing that He had given me. Every writing project I tried helped me to grow and taught me many things about myself, but I felt like I was like Moses leading the children of Israel in circles in the wilderness. I was doing a lot, but not really getting to where God wanted me to get.
So I did what I normally do when I have run out options and feel frustrated. I prayed. And then I prayed some more. And when I was done, I prayed yet some more.
Why God?
Why don’t you use me like Beth Moore or Max Lucado? Am I dreaming too big? I thought your dreams for me were bigger and greater than anything I could ever imagine.
I won’t bore you with the dialogue that took place that day between me and God. But I will tell you, in short, He showed me that I was spending too much time trying to have him validate my call to write through the means that He had used with others.
And… oh, ouch I don’t want to tell you this… and…uh, I am stammering here… hedging…….Uh….
He said there was jealousy in my heart. Very deep embarrassment for telling you this
Oh, I didn’t have the audacity to be jealous of huge writing stars like Lucado or Moore; but, unbeknownst to me until that moment, I was jealous of those I considered my peers. Other would-be writers who were at a similar stage of their writing careers that were having more success and more influence than I was.
Ouch.
Double, triple, quadruple ouch.
So how did I respond?
Again I prayed and prayed some more. When I was finished, I prayed again. But this time, my prayers were for the success of my writing peers. I stopped praying for my writing and started praying deeply and earnestly for them.
At first, this type of praying was painful. My flesh was being lacerated. Eventually the rejoicing came, and I realized that their successes had nothing at all do to with mine. They were thriving and growing in their anointed purpose, just as I will one day.
Soooo what about you? Are you up for this little Flesh Test? Try it, even for an hour, to not use the words me, myself, mine and I … and be sure to let me know what happens. Smile