Some mornings prayer is a struggle.
A struggle to focus.
A struggle to flow.
A struggle to not put God on a time clock, an agenda.
Evangelist Eli Hernandez said that sometimes, just about the time God is getting ready to bless us, we look at our watch and realize it’s time to go to workso we end up stepping out of the glory flow just when it was about to be poured on us.
Such was the case today.
I was up at 4 a.m. and went to prayer first.
I pressed.
I moaned.
I groaned.
There was a measure of connectivity, but the deep communion wasn’t there.
Why?
Well, I am not 100% sure, but perhaps the Lord felt like He was just one more thing I needed I check off my list today. (How terribly sad to admit this!) After all, He knows I am behind on my writing schedule, and if I didn’t leave time to write this morning before work it wouldn’t get done. He knows that I need to pack for a trip to Atlanta this morning before leaving for work. He is also very aware of my job pressures, and how I want to get in extra early today to catch up on things.
Oh, God forgive me!
I just realized that more than likely the reason that I struggled today is that I went into my prayer time withGod on a time clock. Basically, without realizing it, I approached my prayer today with:
“Okay, God let’s do this thing. I have an hour. Give me what you got.”
Yikes! No wonder the Psalmist said “Woe is me” so much. Truly, truly woe is me!
Imagine going on a date with someone who treated you like that?
I could write so much about how it feels to be the one who is being made time for. Who is squeezed into someone’s busy agenda. Who talks to you while checking their phone etc. Yet, unknowingly, I have a feeling that is exactly what I did to my beloved Savior today.
I want to learn to pray until time and schedules are completely abandoned. Until my sweet, precious, beloved Savior feels like He is all that is on my mind and my schedule.
What about you?