I blew it.
I let months of frustration spill out in fifty texted words.
And in so doing I lost my best friend and maligned Christ’s reputation.
I’ve cried, I’ve prayed and apologized, but the breach hangs heavy like a wool blanket on a hot summer day.
So what now?
I go to Jesus.
I give Him my mangled mess and ask Him to help me, to smooth the rough places, to ease the tensions, to repair the breach.
“And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.” (Isaiah 58:12)
Interestingly enough, I came across an article on http://www.kyria.com/ called Mouse-to-Mouse that shared a similar experience.
The camaraderie of failure was a balm to my bleeding spirit.
So today, dear reader, I am asking you for advice. Just because I blog and offer insight doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. You see the person I blew it with was my boss – my boss! How inane is that? But we also had a friendship outside of work and it’s the loss of friendship I’m grieving the most.
All weekend, my mind has been reeling and trying to figure out what my next steps should be in this situation.
Should I pull back and not be so transparent at work with people? Or is the cost of transparency letting others see that you have ‘uglies’ inside of you too?
I definitely need more humility and servanthood. It is the ‘it’s not fair’ mentality that got me in trouble in the first place.
Only pride thinks it has rights. We know that the book of Proverbs says that pride goes before destruction.
I covet your prayers and welcome your advice.
This living everyday with Jesus is not easy, but even in the the hardest of times there is joy in the journey.