This weekend was a Button Celebration moment. Why? Because I was able to walk all over the St. Charles, Illinois Scarecrow Fest and not get worn out. This may seem trivial to you, but for me, it was huge, and a sign that I am beginning to experience a genuine lifestyle change.

There was a time in my life when just going to the grocery store exhausted me. I would literally come home, put the cold items in the fridge, and then sit down and rest before I could put the remaining groceries away. It is embarrassing to admit, but truly the excess weight I was carrying, and my sedentary way of living caused me to be out of breath, and physically weak, after almost any minor exertion. Doing anything remotely physical was a major undertaking for me.

But then I started asking God to make me willing.

For months, I asked God to make me willing. Make me willing to surrender my food. Make me willing to change the lifelong habits that had a hold of me. Make me willing to get healthy, and to get moving. I prayed for months about it, because it took me that long to become willing. Maybe someone else could have prayed one time and been in a place to surrender. But I have an incredibly stubborn will, and a death grip on doing things my way, so it was a prayer process. A consistent and intentional effort of of asking God for help.

Then I Repented

Every time I prayed for God to make me willing, I also repented for my years of over-indulgence. My problem wasn’t so much gluttony, as it was a coping technique. In short, I used food to calm my negative emotions instead of dealing with them before God.

If I was angry, I over ate.

If I was happy, I over ate.

If I was sad, I over ate.

Food became my comfort.

Listening To God

fter a season of asking God to make me willing, and repenting for a lifetime of over-indulgences, I was finally ready to just sit and listen for God.

One of the first things He did was to remind me that I needed a food plan. Something that had no wiggle room in it. Because He knew how often, I had tried diets and worked the system to still over-indulge and feed my feelings. He reminded me of my past success with Weight Watchers, and and that here is very little wiggle room in using the Weight Watcher’s point system.

So I chose Weight Watchers.

Next, He reminded me of the importance of accountability, and that any true change was only going to take place if I was willing to be completely accountable. This gave me pause. And, quite honestly, I had to spend a few more weeks praying about this one. Weight is such a personal thing, and I wasn’t sure that I could be that open and transparent with someone. The friends that I had that could potentially be my accountability partner were skinny, and had never had a weight problem, so, I reasoned, how could they possibly understand a fat-girl’s world?

During this time, I re-read Lysa Terkeurst’s book Made to Crave.

“God made us capable of craving so we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only one capable of satisfying them.”

― Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food

“I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God.”

― Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food

God never intended us to want anything more than we want Him. Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that, Look at what the Bible says about God’s chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God: ‘They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved’ (Psalm 78:18). Yikes”

― Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food

Her words, along with continued prayer, helped me to come to the realization that I needed accountability… and I needed continued encouragement. And that is when God gave me the idea of calling my weight loss effort

My Button Journey.

The very idea of a journey, speaks progress not perfection. And using buttons, is a nice, non-threatening way for me to talk about the pounds I am losing or not losing. And, if you’ve been following my Button Journey, you know that many, wonderful, loving people have spurred me on by giving me special buttons. And you also know, that each week on my Facebook Page, I post (accountability) whether I’ve earned buttons or not.

It’s been wonderful. And it really has kept me on track when I had a particularly difficult week.

Like this week.

I didn’t earn any buttons this week. And I posted that on my Facebook Page. But as I started to prepare this post, I didn’t feel discouraged. Instead, I felt like rejoicing in the improved quality of life My Button Journey has brought me. And so I decided to share my experience at the Scarecrow Fest with you.

I had such a good time at the Scarecrow Fest, and wasn’t fatigued at all! To God be the glory! And, as my husband and I created a scarecrow we named “Bert”, the Holy Spirit quickened His precious word to me:

Bless you Dear Reader! May you find the strength to pursue your own Button Journey for whatever change you asking God to make in you!