If you’ve followed my blog or know me personally then you know that I am a very large woman. I’ve included a recent picture of myself (that’s me with my brother) so you can see for yourself what I’m contending with.
At the beginning of the year, I decided to ‘come out’ and declare to the world – or at least the world of my readers -that I was going to face my morbid obesity head-on. I had done this before but not in the healthy manner that I am doing now. (10 years ago I lost 165 pounds by following a very strict, low calorie vegetarian diet* only to spiral into clinical depression. My body chemistry was so screwed up it took many doctors/ counselors to put me back together again. Unfortunately, the weight came back on too.)
But this time it is very different. Although I’ve only lost 17 pounds in the last 4 months, I feel like I’m doing things the right way. I’ve learned much about myself in these last 16 weeks and made a lot of lifestyle changes. For example, I’m going for a walk most weekdays on my lunch break and am up to 2.5 miles a day (I used to be winded just walking into work from the parking lot); I’m staying away from white flour and sugar; I’m eating lighter the next day if I ate heavier the day before, and I’m doing the Wii Fit a couple of times a week.
All of the above feels like I’m making genuine progress instead of my usual mentality of “I’m gonna brace myself and suffer on this diet till I reach my goal and then go eat a banana split.”
I think the progress is happening because my motivation for doing it is different. When I lost over 100 pounds before, I did it because I was very sick and needed to get the weight off fast in order get well. So fear was a big part of the picture, i.e., I didn’t want to die.
But this time I’m working at losing the weight because I want to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I want to learn to lean on Him when I’m anxious or stressed instead of turning to food and self-medicating. Certainly, I want to look and feel bette; but what keeps me moving forward is that I realize that every time I set aside the late night binge or other over-the-top indulgences, I am choosing to trust Christ more.
For me, that is what life is all about!
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,” (Hebrews 12:1)
*Vegetarian diets that are followed properly and well balanced are terrific. The diet I followed at the time was neither.